What girls really want – my two cents on decoding girl signals

19 Aug

“At times a girl will be totally into you, call you up, ping you, share stuff. Everyone is happy. Suddenly next week she will stop communicating, maybe take a call every alternate day and always say she is busy with something. You will sit trying to figure out what the hell did I do wrong. Then suddenly while talking to her she will taunt you on something you did 2 weeks back and that’s when you realize… ohh so that’s what this is all about”

– Amey Kanse
Does this sound familiar? Amey and me were casually chatting about relationships and he said this, which kind of led me to writing this post. Plus I had no other idea either.  Do you always seem to be confused about signals from girls you like and who, you think, like you back too? Yes girls are complicated though they would claim to be simple (it’s the other way around for guys). Men have spent ages trying to decipher codes given out by girls with no reasonable amount of success. I am no relationship expert and can’t even claim to have got a girl. But these are things I have seen around and just thought of sharing it with you.
I had seen this movie called ‘He’s just not that into you’ a couple of years back and happened to read the book recently, on which the movie is based. But everything is from the point of view of the girl.
Nobody’s ever made a guidebook for guys. Guys don’t understand girls or their signs. They don’t know if the girl  likes likes them or likes them as a friend. It’s too complicated. So I am just trying to shed light on these things, after talking to some other girls.
  • 5 reasons the girl won’t go out with you
  • 5 signs that a girl is into you
Some of it is going to be pure crap and you obviously shouldn’t read too much into it. But it might just hold true too
So starting off with –

5 signs that a girl is into you:

  • The physical contact – I don’t mean literal ass grabbing here. That happens only in movies. If a girl likes you she will try to do something like play with your hair, brush up against you, won’t squeal if you hold her hand. Take that as a sign.
  • Smiles a lot when she is around you – If you find a girl who is constantly smiling to the point you are worried that it has been plastered on her face, then she definitely likes you. Try and get your eyes off of her breasts and look at her face. You will understand things a lot better.

* the fact that girls smile a lot around guys they like has been confirmed by a couple of girls I know and they are far from being girly in the normal sense of the word*

  • You are stuck to your phone – You might not message a lot or talk on the phone a lot. You may be amish about these, but if you find yourself texting away, sometimes in the wee hours of morning or even when you are in the Himalayas, there is a pretty good chance that the girl likes you. Now this one can be a bit tricky, cause it can easily be misunderstood, when no spark exists in the first place. I don’t mean a couple of messages a day. I mean talking entire days on end, till the point your thumbs hurt. When the girl knows what u had for breakfast. Well this is a bit exaggerated but you get the drift 😛
  •  Money – A girl who likes you will pay for you on more than one occasion if you are short of cash. Which doesn’t mean you become an asshole and leech off her. And if she pays voluntarily without you even asking much, then please ask her out soon and treat her well. And earn enough money too.

*if she wants you to pay always, she is just taking you for a ride – GOLD DIGGER ALERT!! (even though you might not be filthy rich)*

  •  Refer point number 1 – I cannot stress the importance of point 1 enough. There’s almost zero chance of her not being into you, if she does the things I mentioned ( and more 😉 )

Hopefully reading these checkpoints should enlighten you on whether the girl of your dreams could actually like you for real.

Now for the second part. There are many reasons as to why girls won’t date you. From you wearing hideous clothes to not having gone to college, the list is endless. But somewhere amongst the ruins, there are 5 major reasons why a girl will NOT date you, even if you have the intellect to design a space shuttle to Mars.

5 reasons for the girl to not date you:

  • You don’t have money – I was inclined to say you don’t have the looks but I am sure everyone has seen that hot girl in the street with the most hideous guy ever. So the first thing is, if you have the money you get chicks or you don’t. Poor men never got the girls. All the billionaires you see with hot wives and girlfriends? Yes, they got together after he became a billionaire

For a person who needs a daily viagra dosage, he scores pretty well.

lead singer of Aerosmith. You bet he got some

  • Her friends don’t think you are a catch – This is the lamest reason ever created by womankind. Especially applicable to girls having a horde of girlfriends who deal with any crisis by shopping and spa treatments. Some women want their boyfriends to fit in with their gang of girls. You may be the most perfect guy for that girl. You are smart and funny, decent looking but not a hunk. Doesn’t matter. If her friends don’t want to throw themselves at you, why should she?
  • You are a pig – A Male Chauvinistic one. If you think girls are only made for sex and household chores, pretty soon you will be the only one to help yourself. In both the departments. Girls won’t go out with guys who are arrogant and think that they are better than girls. Though girls like to be independent, a little bit of old school courtesy and chivalry never harmed anyone. Most girls would like a nice guy (let’s call it NGS – Nice Guy Syndrome) though they dig ‘bad boys’. Bring on the arrogance only if you have the money. But even then it’s called swagger.

  • Oggling at other women/talking about other women – DON’T LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS!!! Simple enough? Girls want guys who can give them attention. So if you are checking out the hot bartender’s cleavage while getting the ‘girl’ a drink, be prepared to have the drink thrown in your face. Don’t try to make the girl you fancy, jealous by talking about other girls. She will just leave. Girls won’t go out with guys who can’t keep their eyes fixed on them(the girl in question)

  • You are an asshole – You make fun of her in front of her friends, your friends, random people in a movie theatre. You call her fat. You belittle her getting a driving license. You tell her to get therapy. You are in depression yourself. You can’t make her happy. In short, she is not going to date you. Be nicer, warmer and give her attention. It might not totally work but at least she won’t think of you as an asshole

So there you have it. A guidepost to get you through the trying times when your brain stops working and your genitals don’t help you. It’s not that complicated. If a girl is into you, she will let you know through some way. We just need to be aware to see the signs. Don’t underestimate the signs and think you know exactly how to go about this.

There’s a simple rule to live by – Girls rule the world.

– ♫ Are you gonna be my girl (JET)

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Kunal Pawar has lost a gay friend, a couple of bitches and whole load of self esteem while conducting research for this article.

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6 Responses to “What girls really want – my two cents on decoding girl signals”

  1. DP August 19, 2011 at 5:55 pm #

    super awesome Kuku!!!! 😀

  2. Nikhil August 19, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    While they might at times give the impression that they are into bad boys, what they really want is a secure and safe future. If she thinks you can give her that, and if you have been being a good dog around her, she will eventually give in.

    As you neither have any special talents, steady job, or a rich relative leaving you his fortune, your only option is to lie and hope that by the time she has found out, you have… (…you know)

  3. vandsriv August 20, 2011 at 5:34 am #

    Wow Kuku you’ve gone ahead and written a post! I just want to stand back and clap, take a bow friend! 🙂

  4. You have a new Fan September 8, 2011 at 5:22 am #

    Fantastic article, Just keep the good work up ,

  5. Sosha September 30, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Can’t pinpoint why a girl doesn’t like you, but your signals to know that the girl is into you are all right!

    Confession: I erm, just realised, I do those myself.

    • Kunal September 30, 2011 at 6:07 pm #

      This article was written after a lot of research!! I am glad to know, we guys can depend on a few signals which all girls follow 🙂

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